Change
by lnkmstr10
Summary: I think back on today and know that everything is the same. I look at Spencer and deep down I know everything has changed. Rated T for language
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this particular story. The characters are all property of Tom Lynch. No copyright infringement is intended.**

A/N: _So this little idea popped in my head one day at work and I had to get it out. It's my first one shot ever, so I hope you like it._

_-_

**Change**

_"These things will change, I can feel it now"_

Taylor Swift

-

"Pleeease Ash?" she childishly whines. She grabs my arm and gives me her best puppy dog eyes.

Ah damn, I was going to give in, and she knew it. "Fine," I sigh dramatically to my best friend, "but only if you promise to ride Dante's Fire with me." I point to the biggest roller coaster in the park, which is also conveniently referred to as 'The second faster roller coaster in the world.'

We walk over to the stupid carousel she wants to ride. I can already feel the drool forming in my mouth as I think of the coaster. Spencer on the other hand? Not so much. I think it's more of bile forming in her mouth.

"Um, do I have to?" Spencer asks timidly as she stares at the red ride with obvious fear. I notice she has a death grip on the monkey she is riding.

That's one thing I'll never understand about those things. You can ride on horses and unicorns, but then they have random animals like monkeys and bears. I mean seriously, when was the last time you rode on of those in real life?

"Yes you do." I give her a big smile as I hop off and drag her over to one of the many concession stands.

She gives me a strange look. "Aren't you going to ride Dante's Fire?"

"Yeah," I answer slowly. "Why?"

This time she gives me a doubtful look. "Then why are you adding more fuel to your vomit tank?"

"Ugh Spence, way to almost turn me off food," I complain. But thankfully I have a strong stomach, and dammit, I want my funnel cake! "You want some?" I offer through the huge bite I had just taken.

She scrunches her face in disgust and shakes her head. "You want a bib?" she counters.

"Nope." I purposely spit out crumbs as I say this, making Spencer smile and laugh.

Seven years of friendship, and I still got it! Yep, friends since we were eleven and met on our U-12 soccer team. A girl made fun of Spencer's name, saying it was "_An icky boy's name_!" I "accidentally" kicked a ball at the girl's face and bloodied her nose, making her sit out that practice and the next game because she missed crucial information. Served her right!

"And no one wants to be with that?" Spencer gasps in fake astonishment as she points to me.

I give a small nod and smile. "I know, it perplexes me too. Now come on, let's go ride," I pause for dramatic effect. "Dante's Fire!!!!!"

Spencer looks sick just from me mentioning it. "Yeah, let's go speed up our death time," she retorts, but she follows me anyway.

I smile as she grabs my arm as we get closer. Spencer pretty much had a death grip on my arm for each roller coaster we went on. I think it's sweet that she feels safe with me, even though I highly doubt that holding on to my arm will stop us from falling out of our seat if the ride stops upside down. I wisely don't express my thoughts to the timid blonde.

We pass a sign saying it's the 30 minute wait point, and Spencer is basically trembling. I put an arm around her and squeeze, giving her a reassuring smile. I frown when I notice her downcast eyes. That won't do. I gently tilt her chin up so that her gorgeous eyes meet mine.

"There we go. There are those pretty blue eyes," I say in a thick county accent, making Spencer blush and smile.

She gives me a strict look but keeps a grip on my arm. "Better engrave it in your memory because once we get on this ride, my eyes are going to be permanently shut."

"Nope," I shake my head, "not happening. Those eyes will stay open if I have to hold them open myself. Besides, it's even scarier with your eyes closed. Now come on," I say as I tug her along up closer. We are finally in line for our seats, only about three people in front of us.

"Ash I changed my mind, I don't want to do this," Spencer says suddenly, looking very much like she might cry. She immediately casts her eyes down, probably to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall.

Another group gets on, leaving only two people in front of us, and I try to distract Spencer from noticing. "Hey, it's ok Spence," I say gently. "This is only like a minute ride. It'll be over before you know it." I try to reassure her, but I can see in her tense posture that it hasn't worked.

"Alright ladies, step up please," I hear one of the ride workers say to Spencer and me.

We are next and Spencer isn't doing anything- which worries me more than her crying. She's just standing there, almost as if she is in a trance. I'm not sure what to do. I really want to ride the roller coaster with her, but I don't to traumatize my best friend.

"You ok, Spence?" I timidly ask, mentally cursing myself for sounding uncertain, especially seeing as how I'm supposed to be comforting her.

She doesn't say anything, but she manages a small nod. The gates open and it's our turn to get in the ride. I climb in first, as if I think that that will somehow help relieve some of Spencer's apprehension.

"Spencer?" I want to hear her voice, no I need to hear it. Maybe so I know she's breathing, or maybe so I won't feel as guilty as I do for dragging her on this ride. She still doesn't respond so I try again. "Spence?"

Spencer finally turns her wavering blue eyes on me and I feel my heart skip a beat at the scared look in her eyes. I knew she didn't want to ride it, but now I feel a huge guilt eating away at me. "Spence, it's going to be ok." I put my arm around her and rub her arm in what I hope is a soothing way. She removes my arm from around her and I give her a questioning look.

She grabs my hand and interlocks our fingers, subconsciously drawing a smile from me for some reason. "This way when I fall out of the ride, you'll come with me," she teases with a light smile, the first I've seen since I got my funnel cake an hour ago.

"You won't fall out," I laughingly roll my eyes at her. "I think this bar pretty much guarantees you are stuck in your seat. It's actually to keep scared blondes from trying to back out at the last minute," I tell her seriously, barely able to hold back my smile.

"Uh huh," she says with an eye roll, "sure it is. Really, I think this was just some ploy of yours to get me to hold your hand." She holds up our intertwined hands. "Ash, if you wanted to hold my hand, you just had to ask."

"Damn you got me," I snap my right hand in disappointment. "I was hoping I could play it off better. And I ate the funnel cake so that when I throw up, you will have to take my shirt off and get me a new one. In fact, every one in the park is in on my 'Seduce Spencer' plot."

Spencer laughs like I hoped and nudges her shoulder into me. Her grip on my hand tightens almost painfully when the roller coaster starts to slowly move forward. I give her a significant look and she smiles sheepishly and gentles her grip up some. "Sorry, I just hate the whole starting out part. Especially when it slowly goes up the hill and you can't see anything and then BAM! you are suddenly plummeting to your death."

"Such morbid thoughts, Spence. Come on, you know I wouldn't put you in danger. You trust me, right?"

Her eyes meet mine and for a moment the fear is gone, and I feel my heart swell at the complete trust and sincerity I see in her blue eyes. "Of course I do. Did you even have to ask?" For some reason her voice is soft and quiet, and it makes me feel like this moment just got heavy. As if it is thick with something, though I'm not sure what.

I shrug and remove my gaze from hers. Suddenly it feels weird staring in her eyes. It isn't that I want to look away. It's the fact that I _don't_ want to look away that confuses me.

"Ash?" Spencer asks curiously, successfully breaking me out of my thoughts.

"I'm fine, just thinking." I give her a quick smile and then make sure to quickly look back to the front. "You ready?" I ask gently.

She doesn't respond with words. Instead she gives my hand a squeeze and inches closer to me. It's so insignificant, but I notice it all the same, just as I notice every second that goes by with our hands intertwined.

"Oh God, oh God. Oh shit. Shit, shit shit! God, here we go!" I hear Spencer whisper to herself as the coaster ascends the first hill. A small smile forms on my face at how cute she is. I quickly cover it up as those thoughts flicker through my mind.

"Nuh uh, Spence, keep those eyes open," I tease as I see the blonde has her eyes shut painfully tight.

I somewhat regret my order as she turns her eyes on me and keeps them on my face. I'm flattered that she finds reassurance simply from staring at me, but with her side against mine, her hand in mine, and her eyes locked on mine, it's all starting to feel like overload to me.

Spencer's eyes widen slightly, as if she somehow feels it too, as if she somehow is channeling in on my thoughts. She gets a queer look on her face and then slowly inches a few spaces to her left so that some space is created between us.

She even removes her hand from mine, and I can't even register anything anymore. My mind is too busy thinking of everything. My side and hand are too busy tingling. My heart is too busy beating a fast cadence inside my chest. My breath is too busy catching.

Both of us are staring straight ahead, only catching each other's gaze in our peripheral vision. We are sitting awkwardly upright, the tension obvious in our bodies, though I'm sure neither of us knows exactly why.

Finally we reach the top of the first hill, and the ride pauses a bit before it swiftly sends us down the track at a high speed. Spencer forgoes her whole distance plan as she quickly moves back over to me.

Her eyes are apologetic, but I give her a small smile and grab her hand and set them where our legs are touching. She gives me an appreciative smile and then swiftly turns her head to the front, but not before I see the light blush that has formed on her flawless cheeks.

It makes a blush form on my own face for some reason, and I'm thankful that the wind whipping at my face can be an explanation for my flushed face. "You doing ok?" I yell to Spencer as we go through another corkscrew.

She opens an eye and looks at me before nodding once. I know that's her way of saying, 'I hate you.' I also know she doesn't really mean it. Spencer has never handled scary situations well. It's why I refuse to go to a theater with her anymore to watch any horror films-besides the fact that she always has more of a death grip on my hand then than she does now.

We finally get off the ride, and Spencer makes a dramatic show of kissing the ground. "Ground, sweet ground!"

I laugh and push her gently as we walk to my car. "Oh, you know you had a blast. I saw you holding back a scream."

"Yeah, a blood curling scream," she retorts. "Next time we do something we'll go and sit in a box with spiders." She refers to my intense fear of spiders. They are just so gross. And why the hell do they need eight legs!?

We are walking back to my car to head home. "Spence, you hate spiders too," I remind her as I maturely stick my tongue out at her.

Everything is back to normal. We are both completely comfortable and it seems we both have agreed to forget the earlier weirdness.

I start the car and our favorite mix CD filters through the speakers. We both sing obnoxiously along, smirking at each other as we do random dance moves at stoplights. Yep, everything is definitely back to normal.

Actually, I decide, it's not back to normal, because that insinuates that it had changed. It hadn't.

"So did you have fun today?" I ask her, as if I need to reassure myself.

She turns and smiles at me and says, "Yeah I did. It was a lot of fun."

"Me too," I nod firmly. "So Dante's Fire wasn't so bad?"

She turns to me again and regards me for a moment. "No it wasn't. Actually, I think it was my favorite part," she says quietly, shyly, and suddenly I'm not too sure that we're still talking about the coaster.

I take in a sharp breath as I feel a light pressure on my hand. Spencer has just grabbed my hand. She's not looking at me, but I can see the tiny timid smile on her face, even in the darkness of the night.

I stare straight ahead for a moment, taking it all in. I think back to our day and think that everything is the same.

I look down to our intertwined hands and then at Spencer, and deep down, I know that everything has changed.

_Fin_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this particular story. The characters are all property of Tom Lynch. No copyright infringement is intended.**

A/N: _So I really wasn't planning on writing any more to this story, but I was in church (and supposed to be paying attention but I couldn't today for some reason) and this idea popped in my head. As of right now, I'm not writing any more, but that may very well change. Hope you guys like this chapter, even though its pretty short._

_Reviews are always loved and appreciated! :)  
_

_-_

**Change**

_"These things will change, I can feel it now"_

Taylor Swift

-

Whoever said actions speak louder than words must have been watching Ashley and me. Conversation has been long forgotten and is instead replaced with secret glances and small, timid smiles. Our hands are now separated, but I can see her hand twitching, and I know that Ashley is fighting back the urge to grab my hand, just as I am fighting the urge to grab hers.

We are at the awkward in between stage; not quite together, but definitely not just friends. It is a stalemate, neither of us knowing how to proceed.

I don't think that the ride back to my house has ever taken this long. I don't think the silence between Ashley and I has ever been this stretched out. I don't think the tension has ever been this thick. And I don't think I have ever felt this nervous.

So we sit in silence with our thirteen year old girl-like giddiness, feeling so torn and confused.

I can honestly say I've never thought of Ashley in a romantic light until today. Sure I can easily admit that she's beautiful and sweet and funny and all those other take-home-to-your-mother kind of qualities that I look for in a person. But she's not just a person. She's Ashley Davies, my best friend. She was always in her own category, segregated from any one else. She wasn't in the friends category, because she was always so much more.

You think that would have been my first clue. But who was I to question why I felt so safe with Ashley? Who was I to wonder why her hugs warmed my entire being? Who was I to try and put a label on my relationship with the beautiful brunette?

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Ashley calling my name, telling me we're at my house. I smile sheepishly and awkwardly unbuckle my seatbelt, but I do not move. I'm stuck in place, more unsure now of everything than I was before.

Do I hug her, kiss her? Oh God, kiss her. I want to kiss her. It's an incessant tugging on my heart, telling me to make a move and kiss her. I want to so bad. But I don't, and I think we are both disappointed.

"Well I will see you later," I quickly rush out before I blurt out anything embarrassing. I get out of the car and walk to my door.

"Spencer," Ashley calls out suddenly, stopping me in my tracks.

"Yes?" I say breathlessly, excitedly, hoping that what she is going to say will be monumental.

We stare at each other for a long moment, lost in an internal debate over what we want to do, and actually building up the courage to do it.

Ashley shakes her head and let's out a frustrated sigh. I give a curt nod in understanding and go inside, cursing myself every step of the way.

---

I'm lying in bed staring up at my ceiling, hating myself for being so scared. I know she felt it too, of that I have no doubt. But neither of us could work up the courage to ignore our insecurities and just dive in.

I think we are both scared of what happens if we do get together. We will have a good relationship-I hope- but then what? It lasts what maybe, a few days?

A tap at my window cuts my musings shorts. "Spence?" I hear Ashley timidly whisper into my dark room.

Maybe a few weeks?

"Ash, what are you doing here?" I ask curiously as I help her in my room. "Did Kyla annoy you again?"

Ashley used to come over a lot whenever Kyla was being especially frustrating, which, believe me, was known to happen quite frequently.

She shakes her head and looks down for a moment before sighing heavily. She lifts her eyes to meet mine and she has an unreadable look in her brown pools.

Maybe a few months?

"Ash?" I whisper hesitantly to my best friend.

Ashley closes the few feet in between us. And then her lips are on mine and we are kissing.

Maybe forever.

_Fin_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this particular story. The characters are all property of Tom Lynch. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_A/N: So I got inspired and decided to write another chapter. I might do one more chapter from Spencer's POV, but I am not too sure yet. I'm still writing for Should've Said No, so it's nothing concrete now. Anyway, here is another chapter, enjoy :)_

_-_

**Change**

_"These things will change, I can feel it now"_

Taylor Swift

-

All I can think is wow.

You think I'd have more elaborate thoughts, maybe along the lines of asking myself what in the hell I am doing kissing Spencer. But that's just it; I'm kissing Spencer! And there is no possible way that anything coherent could flow through my mind. Which now brings us back to wow.

And it's not the, "Wow, I'm kissing my best friend and this could complicate so much."

Oh no, it's the "holy fucking shit, I'm kissing Spencer and it's amazing!" kind of wow. If you haven't kissed Spencer, you most likely don't know what I'm talking about. I wish you could understand.

Actually, I take that back, I don't want you to understand, because that means you'd have to kiss her and well, I'm not too keen on giving her up right this moment.

I'm not really sure where I got my metaphorical balls from. Ever since Spencer grabbed my hand in the car, all I wanted to do was kiss her. You can imagine my shock when that particular thought flittered through my brain. I'd never even thought of kissing Spencer before. Ok, that's not completely true. I mean who hasn't had a hot best friend and wondered how they would kiss. It's totally innocent.

But since this night, since Spencer and I some how completely disregarded any boundaries and obviously hurdled over any lines that were set, it was the only thing on my mind.

But how do you go from not thinking of your best friend romantically, to all of a sudden feeling tingly whenever they look your way, to never wanting to let go of their hand, to wanting to kiss them senseless? If you're confused, welcome to my life.

And how the hell was I supposed to make a move on her? It's not like I've had experiences being flirty and sexual around girls, let alone my best friend. Have we had a flirty banther? Hell yes! Have we been touchy feely? Hell yes!

Has it ever meant so much to me as it has now? Hell no!

It's around this time that I realize I should shut my brain up. After all, I'm kissing Spencer Carlin, and I'd rather not waste the moment being stuck inside my head, when all I want to do is be aware of the sensation of her mouth on mine.

I'd never really thought too much about how Spencer would kiss, but I doubt any one assumes their friends can't kiss. Well thanks to her lovely mouth, any assumptions I might have possibly had, I'm fully convinced that Spencer is an amazing kisser.

So is it wrong that I choose now to be jealous of all the other people who have experienced her lips? ...Probably, but now that I've tasted her, I can't help but let it consume me.

If I had any trouble shaking my thoughts, they quickly fade when Spencer pushes her weight into me and backs me into the wall. I can't help the small gasp of surprise and want that escapes me at this action. All I can do is press my body into hers and touch my tongue to hers.

"Ash," Spencer moans softly, and it warms my body more than I thought possible.

She's called me Ash so many times, so many ways; in anger, irritation, sadness, happiness. But never in desperate need like she just did. And never has it flooded me with this many emotions.

"Ash," she says again, and I realize that she's trying to get my attention. It's not my fault, it's really hard to think when she's kissing my brains out.

"Hmm?" I mumble disoriented, trying not to seem disappointed as she steps back from me, and doing everything in my power not to bring our lips back together as I take in her harsh breathing.

"It's just..." She looks down at her hands, which are fiddling nervously. I can't help but be entranced by the movement as well. "Well...what exactly are we?"

That's the million dollar question, isn't it? I mean obviously we can't pretend to be just friends...can we? Well we could, but that wouldn't last very long, what with me wanting to kiss her every chance I get.

"I-I uh." I scratch my head thoughtfully. "I'm not really sure, you know?"

She gives an unsure smile, but nods her agreement. "Yeah, I know. I just...well I mean...this isn't just nothing."

"I know." I give a long sigh. "It's just complicated."

Spencer breathes out a laugh. "That's an understatement."

I smile in response, and it widens as her eyes meet mine. I look away as the urge to kiss her returns, stronger than ever. She must have read my look because she turns away and I can see a slight blush on her cheek, even in the darkness.

We sit in silence, both lost in our own thoughts of "what now." The silence is made even better by the awkwardness of the moment. Normally when there is an awkard silence, I find something to distract myself. I doubt Spencer will let me kiss her to avoid talking about this though.

"We're best friends." Spencer decides to point out the obvious, and even though I'd rather have her lips on mine, this trumps the awkward silence we were experiencing.

"We're not dating anyone," she continues, and it makes me smile for some reason.

"Spence." She turns to me with a questioning look. "Are you going to narrate our entire relationship?" She bites her lip in embarrassment and shakes her head. I smile at her and put a hand on her knee. "What we are...maybe we shouldn't label."

Spencer raises her eyebrows slightly, and even though I know she's confused, it makes me smile that she leans into my touch. "What do you mean?"

I'm trying to answer, I really am, but with her hands lightly playing with my hair, my brain isn't focusing on finding words. It's zoned in on her beautiful blue eyes, on her soft tresses, on her vanilla scent, and that's way more overwhelming than finding words.

Spencer leans closer to me and I'm now breathing her in more than ever. I meet her blue eyes, and I know she wants to kiss me too.

"Well I mean we have no labels, we're just...just Spencer and Ashley." It's a mystery to me how I managed that out, what with her leaning in closer, her breath hitting my lips.

"Just Spencer and Ashley," she echoes, her lips teasing the corner of mine.

I nod. "We're Spencer and Ashley." I close my eyes and softly brush my lips against hers, loving that she smiles into the kiss.

She pulls back slightly, and I open my eyes to find her smiling at me with such pure emotion, that it almost scares me. Then she closes her eyes and brings her lips back to mine, and all my thoughts are gone.

We are best friends.

We are Spencer and Ashley.

But more than that, what we _really_ are...

Is perfect.

_Fin_


End file.
